More than Anything
by thehopefulone
Summary: Robin has always wanted what she can't have. But she also has a husband who would go to the ends of the earth to give her what she wants. This is the story of how they take a journey and discover what they truly want out of life...more than anything.
1. What do I want?

Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM.

A/N- This story is set after Barney and Robin's wedding. I am really unsure of where it is going. When I got the idea, it was supposed to be a one-shot, but I surprised myself with the ending.

* * *

The thought first occurred to her in a dream. She tried to shake the thought, but all through breakfast it haunted Robin.

She kissed Barney goodbye as he left for work, and she desperately wanted to tell him. But she didn't.

She went out shopping with Lily, and considered telling her, but what use would it be?

Later that night Robin sat at the bar, and she really wanted to say it. But what would it matter? It was only a stupid dream...something that could never happen.

But still.

"The next rounds on me." Robin announced, and hurried up to the counter to get some more alcoholic bliss. Anything to get her mind off this.

Barney followed her, kissing her cheek as she waited for Wendy to fill the mugs.

"Hey, What's up with you? You've been out of it all day." He asks, staring at her chest.

"I'm fine..." She lies. "Barney what are you staring at?"

"Your boobs look nice in that shirt." He smirks.

She should've known he didn't really care. Robin brings back the beer and makes some excuse to get away, bolting to the lady's room.

She locks the door to the green stall, trying to hold back tears. It was such a stupid thing to cry about, Robin doesn't even know why she is still so concerned about it.

She hears the restroom door open, and Lily's gentle voice. "Robin...Sweetie, you OK?"

Robin wipes her eyes and slips out. "Im fine. I..."

The tears come back, and she finds herself in Lily's embrace. "Whatever it is, you need to tell Barney. He is your husband Robin, you need to let him know what is bothering you."

Robin mumbles something of a reply through her tears. The girls' leave the restroom, and she and Barney catch a cab home.

The ride is quiet. She sits on one side, he on the other. A whole space between them.

Then he slides his hand into hers and for a moment, everything is OK again.

They get home and collapse on the couch. He wants to make her feel better, and brings himself to wrap his arm around her shoulder. This is still something he struggles with.

"What is it Scherbatsky?"

For a moment she isn't quite sure how to put her confession into words, and then she looks into his blue eyes, and everything flows out.

"Sometimes, I wish I could have kids. Sometimes I wish I was able to get pregnant and have a baby that looks just like you, and to give you want I know you want."

"I don't want THAT." Barney sighs, his voice soft.

"Yes, you do." Robin sobs. "I am such a disappointment to you. I am so sorry, Barney." She presses her lips to his. He brings his hand up to cup the cheek that is wet with salty tears.

"Robin, you are almost as awesome as I am, baby or not. " She gives him a half smile, and he continues. "I..." The words don't usually come naturally to him but for her, they would. "love you."

She wipes the tears. "I want to be pregnant, Barney."

He pauses, then fishes through a pile of papers. He finds one, its a piece of junk mail from a clinic. "I think we can have that arranged."

"What?" Robin didn't expect this.

"Fertility Treatments." He says, holding up the paper.

Her mouth opens in a gasp.

* * *

A/N- Should I continue? Please review.


	2. Honesty

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Wow, the response to this was more than I expected. I mostly wrote it because I feel there are too many "miracle" stories about Robin getting pregnant naturally when she can't (Sorry to those who write these stories) I just wanted to show an alternative.**

**And thanks to those who have reviewed. It means so much to me. :-) **

* * *

She sat on the paper-covered bed, swinging her legs. Barney could still remember the night she told him.

It was their wedding night. They got to the hotel, and he stripped her dress off as she undid his tie. Together, they collapsed on the bed, drunk, and he made a trail of wet kisses down her neck.

The guilt of not telling him had been eating at her for a long time, so right then and there, she decided to let him know.

Robin turned her head, and whispered in his ear, words slurring together "Iamsterile,wecanthavekids."

He looked up at her, blue eyes shining. It must have been all the alcohol that was making him not think clearly, because he remarked with "Guess we will save money on condemns", then he moved down to her thighs and all was forgotten.

Now, sitting in this hospital room, and looking at her pretty face, he wished he had said something nicer. Of course, when they were sober they had a long talk about it, and many short ones after. But still...that initial reaction wasn't too pleasant.

The nurse came in, took her blood pressure and listened to her heart, before leaving and giving the usual, "The doctor will be in soon."

They both watched her leave, and as soon as the door was closed, Robin turned to him. "Is this really what you want?"

"Is this really what YOU want?"

She swallowed, and her voice was quiet as she responded "More than anything." He stood in front if her, and took both her hands in his.

"Why the sudden change of heart? Why do you want kids NOW?"

"I've always wanted them." Her voice was tiny.

"But you said..."

"I KNOW what I said." Robin snaps back. Then her voice returns to a whisper. "I lied."

Barney leans close to her, and wraps one arm around her. "I lied, too."

They run out of words to say, so she leans in closer and closes the gap between their lips.

They break apart and the doctor enters. "I hear you two need help having a baby."

They nod, and Robin begins to chew her lip nervously.

"Well, Robin and Barney" she says, reading their names from a clipboard. "I have your test results, Robin, everything looks OK, as far as fertility treatment is concerned."

Robin just gives a little nod so she doesn't have to speak. She feels unusually shy here. Barney takes her hand, so she knows he must feel the same way.

The doctor goes on to explain how it works, how Robin will have to give herself a shot everyday, of a special concotion. After 2 weeks, they wait and see if she's pregnant. If not, it repeats.

The couple walks out of the clinic that day, hands held tight. They loved each other, and finally admitting what they truly wanted was scaring them.

But they had each other, and that made it better.

* * *

_"I think for the most part, if you are really honest about what you want out of life, life gives it to you."_

_-Ted_

* * *

Please Review.


	3. Our secret

Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM

A/N- Sorry for any medical mistakes. I have done some research on fertility treatments, and got the gist of it. But I do make up a lot, for the sake of the story.

* * *

The next morning Robin sat in the living room, holding the needle in her hand. She didn't want to admit it, but this was harder than she thought.

Barney came out of the bedroom, in a grey suit and navy tie.

"Good morning, beautiful." he said, kissing her lips. "Having troubles?"

Robin nodded, motioning to the needle in her hand. it was filled with a clear liquid, a special genetical mixture of her and Barney. but how to insert it...that was the problem.

"What me to help?" he laughed, taking the needle from her open hand.

He brushed her hair away from her shoulder, and rolled up the edges of her T-shirt. He took the alcohol pads and cleaned the area.

"Want me to count down for you, Scherbatsky?" He asked.

"No. Just do it, Barney."

"That's the Barnacle to you, my dear." And then he stuck the needle in her shoulder, perfect placement, and pushed all the liquid out, and pulled the needle back out. Robin winced.

"All done."

"You are doing that for me every day for now on." Robin says, kissing him again,longer this time. She is still amazing that, even though she has him everyday, for the rest of her life, she always wants him. Always.

"I gotta go to work. I have a meeting." Barney whispers, his arms wrapped around her. "I love you Robin Stinson." Their lips meet again, and break apart all too fast, and he leaves for work.

The door shuts. Robin is alone.

She considers calling someone...anyone...because this news of them, trying for a baby, is amazing. But she wants to wait until tonight, when they are all at the bar together. Then she and Barney can be together and tell them.

She remembers her own advice to Ted. "Get out of the house, go for a walk, get a bagel."

She doesn't really want to. But she finds herself slipping on a pair of shoes and walking down the stairs and out of the apartment. She gets a bagel and coffee, and finds her feet leading her to Central Park.

The park is different during the day. Women with strollers cruise the sidewalk and older kids play tag. The place is packed, because it is Saturday, but to her amazement, "her" bench is empty.

The tree still offers a little shade, the garage can is still there. She sits and eats her bagel, thinking about the same things she thought about last time she was here. Only, this time with renewed hope.

"Robin!" A voice calls, and she looks up to see Lily, hurrying toward her, pushing a stroller with Marvin in it.

"Hey!" Lily pants. "What are you doing here?"

"Just...getting out of the house. You?"

"Marvin loves to see the pigeons." Lily explains, sitting on the bench. Robin reaches out and takes Marvin's drool-covered hand and he smiles a one-tooth smile at her.

Lily smiles. "You seem really happy today. What's up?"

Robin feels herself blush and shakes her head. "Nothing."

"No...something is up." Lily presses.

"I would tell you, but not until tonight. With everyone."

"Fine." Lily sighs. The girls stay in central pack for a while, until it gets cold and starts to rain, then they both head home.

* * *

Barney and Robin slid into the booth and order the beer. Everyone else arrives within minutes, and they take their seats, buzzing with excitement.

"So what's this news?" Ted asks.

Barney looks at Robin, puzzled. "Lily found out that we have something to say."

"What?" Lily moans. "You know I can't keep a secret!"

"So...what?" Marshall questions.

Barney and Robin exchange a look. "You tell them." Robin says, squeezing his hand under the table.

"Well." He clears his throat. "Robin and I are trying to...wait for it..." Everyone leans closer. "Have a baby."

The couple looks at their friends' shocked faces, that turn to smiles, that turn to confusion.

"But I thought you couldn't have kids, Robin." Marshall asks.

"We...uh, saw a doctor yesterday. We are going through fertility treatments."

Everyone offers congradulations. Its such an emotional roller coaster, for everyone. But its worth it.

Lily knows better than anyone that Barney and Robin will be the best damn parents ever. They both have a lot to make up for. If its a girl, Robin will do everything in her power to let her BE a girl, and not treat her daughter like her Dad treated her.

And if its a boy, Barney will fill in the gaps that his father left empty. Barney would never do what his Dad did, leaving and making Robin do everything.

And either way, they have a lot of suppressed love. They both need a family, so their own hearts can heal.

Lily smiles and sips her beer. She knows they can do this.

* * *

_Barney- "If you were going to be some lame suburban dad, why couldn't you have been that for me?"_

* * *

_Robin- "Okay, can I just say that my deepest need in life is not to hear my father say, "I'm proud of you, eh."_

_Ted- "Then why are you crying right now?"_


	4. Finally

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Sorry for the short chapter, but its a good one. And thanks for all the follows/favorites/reviews. They mean so much to me.**

* * *

The next two weeks went by very slowly for Robin and Barney. Shots every morning, followed by them going about their normal lives, hopefully dreaming.

Finally, two weeks was up. They headed to the fertility part of the clinic, and waited for the results.

In the waiting room, Barney held her hand. "You know I love you, right?"

Robin looked up at him. "Yeah, I do." She paused for a minute, staring into his eyes. "I love you, too."

They smiled at each other. Barney hoped desperately that this kid would have Robin's smile, her laugh, her heart.

Robin wanted her baby to be blonde, with his eyes, and his ability to read people easily.

Their thoughts were interrupted by the nurse. "Mr. and Mrs. Stinson?" She called out into the waiting room, then led them into another room.

The doctor didn't take long to show up at all. "Alright...Robin and Barney." She smiled at them. "I've got news."

The couple instinctively leaned forward and waited.

"I'm so sorry, but your not yet pregnant." Barney signed, and Robin looked at the ground, both disappointed.

"Don't worry." The doctor soothed, patting their shoulders. "You just have to be patient, and the rewards are great, I promise. You may get lucky...not just one, but more!"

"WHAT?" Barney and Robin exclaimed. They wanted kids...emphasis on the "s", but not necessarily all at once.

"Well, infertility often produces multiples." The doctor shrugged, and left the room to get paperwork.

Barney turned to Robin, and saw just how scared she looked. "Don't worry, baby." He whispered. "Whether we get one or six, I still love you. I'll never leave you."

Barney had whispered sweet nothings into the ears of over 200 chicks over the years. He had made promises even they knew he would never keep. But their was only one girl in the world in which he could say things like that and have them be true. Robin.

She nodded, leaned up and gave him a quick kiss. The doctor came back with paperwork and another two weeks worth of shots.

They went through those 14, and waited. Robin couldn't focus on anything but this impending baby. She wanted, still after an entire 4 weeks after her confession to Barney, to be pregnant.

So two weeks passed again. And finally, finally, the doctor grinned and told them the two words they needed. "Your pregnant!"

They jumped up, hugged each other, so happy that this worked. They could finally have the family they always secretly wanted.

Then she threw in a bombshell. "With twins!"


	5. 911

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Thanks so much for all the reviews, and to all of you who are following this story. Like...whoa..this is my most popular story ever. Sorry, but this is gonna be another short chapter. But I just love me a good dramatic ending. :-) **

* * *

The couple nearly skipped down the street.

"Barney, this kid...kids...are gonna be so loved."

Barney only shook his head. "There aren't words for this awesome. Its DOUBLE awesome." He swooped down and kissed his wife.

The couple walked back to bar, skipping the cab to kill time, and by the time their friends were already there, beers ordered.

"Hey, there you guys are!" Ted exclaimed.

"What's up?" Lily asked. "You guys haven't really been around lately."

Barney stepped forward, letting go of Robin's hand. She smiled, and let him do his thing.

" We have legend-wait for it- dary news! Robin and I aren't only pregnant with one baby...but with two!"

A split second after you get big news, there is a shock period. You need time to process what was going on. You basically sit there with your mouth hanging open, and thats exactly what Ted, Marshall, and Lily did. The shock period for this news was exactly a half-second long. And in that half-second, Barney and Robin had a telepathical conversation.

"What's the matter? Are they not happy for us?" Robin panicked.

"Sure they are. They have to be? Don't they?" Barney replied.

They didn't have time to finish it, though. They were being enveloped in hugs. Of course everyone was happy for them.

But then Ted hugged Robin. She could feel the jealously emanating off his person. So when he went up to the counter to get a drink, she followed him.

"Ted, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing." He shook his head. "Can I get another beer, please?" Carl handed him his beer and he turned to leave, it Robin grabbed his arm.

"Hey, I'm sorry, OK? I know you wanted these babies to be yours for a really long time but..."

"...You love Barney." Ted finished her sentence. "You married him because you love him. Now you are having his kids. I am fine with that."

"You have Tracey. That's great, right?" Robin says. She was holding his hand, absentmindedly rubbing circles on it. For such a small gesture, Ted could feel it everywhere.

He pulls away from her. Tracey. How loves Tracey. "Yeah." He says, and takes his beer to the table.

Robin sits down too, sipping her water.

The next few months were a blur. A blur of frenzied rushing and freaking out. Barney and Robin had the apartment piled high with every possible parenting book ever written, and they spent their afternoons reading. Robin started to get a little baby bump.

The scare happened the night that officially marked 10 weeks. Robin woke abruptly, having felt a sharp pain.

"Barney, Barney." She shook the blonde mans arm, scared. "Wake up."

He woke. "What Robin?" He could see her face in the room light streaming through the window. She was petrified.

He leaned over, flicking on the lamp with two fingers and looked back to his wife.

"Oh my god." He breathed, reaching for his phone to call 911.

"911 what's your emergency?" The operator chirped.

"My...my..wife. She's pregnant with twins, and there's a lot of bleeding..."


	6. Relax, Baby

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

* * *

By the time the ambulance came, Robin's face was pale white in fear. She gripped Barney's hand, and was rocking back and forth on the bed. He looked just as terrified, although he was trying not to show it.

In the ambulance, a tech took her blood pressure, checked her heart.

Barney just stroked her hair. "Relax, baby, everything is gonna be alright." He repeated this words all the way to the hospital, even though he wasn't sure if he believed them.

When they reached the hospital, they took her away from him. He was in a panicked state, but took the time to get a coffee before sending a text to the gang. He didn't want to wake them with a call, but he wanted them to know, too. So a text was a perfect medium.

He waited. It felt like forever, but in 5 minutes, Ted was there. These days it seemed like Ted had time for everything. Tracey was in San Fransisco for the month, a job thing she couldn't get out of, so he was lonely. They video chatted every day, but that still didn't make up for the fact that he wasn't gettin' any.

"Barney! Is she alright!" He said.

"I don't know. I haven't heard word." Barney was surprisingly calm.

The bro's sat together. Silent. Waiting.

Finally, a half-hour later, and nurse came out.

"Mr. Stinson?" she called. Barney got up, but looked back at Ted.

"Just go." the lonely man called. "Ill be fine,"

Barney went.

"Is she OK?" Barney pressed right away.

The nurse smiled. "She's OK. We discovered the cause of the bleeding. There was a third fetus that never fully developed. The bleeding was that baby, leaving the womb."

"So the original twins..." Barney asked.

"...are perfectly fine." The nurse said. "You can go see your wife now." She pointed toward a door, and in Barney went.

Robin lay on the bed, hands protectively over her stomach. Her face lit up when she saw him. "Baby..." She reached for him, pulling him down so she could kiss him. Her kiss was long, hard, making up for all the fear.

"You scared me." She whispered. And it was fine. They were fine.

They left the hospital, paid for Ted's cab ride home, thanking him. They got back to the apartment, where one of the techs' had so thoughtfully cleaned up the bed and left them a sweet note, wishing them a good luck on their pregnancy.

So they stood, holding each other in their bedroom, their two children between them. Barney kissed her, passionately and feverishly, wanting her so bad. Her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Barney, Barney..." She whispered, pulling away for a second.

"Yes?"

"Feel this." She took his hand and led it to her baby bump, where he felt, for the first time, movement from one of their children.

"Oh..." he said. This whole pregnancy thing was a whole new experience for both of them.

Barney sunk to his knees, kissing her belly. "I love both of you."

"What is wrong with you?" Robin laughs. "You never act this lovey-dovey."

He gets back up. "Well, you change me, Robin Stinson." They kiss until they fall asleep.

* * *

The next month goes by. Robin goes in for weekly check-ups, to ensure they never get scared like that ever again.

Then one day, the doctor asked the loaded question.

"Would you like to know their gender?" She asks sweetly. Dr. Elizabeth was everything Robin could ask for. She never felt awkward around her.

Robin was going into her second trimester. The morning sickness had stopped. Now it was just being big, twice the size of a normal pregnancy, and uncomfortable. Barney gave her regular messages, using warm oils that were soooo luxurious. He did what he could, but she still felt big. At work they replaced her news casting job with a desk job until she delivered, which mad her frustrated but there was nothing she could do.

"Robin?" Elizabeth asks, interrupting her thoughts. "Do you want to know?"

Robin just shakes her head. "Next week I will bring Barney. You can tell us together."

"Alright." Elizabeth smiles. "Next week."

Robin waddles out, not sure if she can wait 7 whole days.

* * *

**A/N- Here's how this is gonna work. In your reviews, please leave both a girl and a boy name. They don't necessarily have to go together or anything, just throw something out there. When I go to write the gender reveal chapter I will roll two dice. Even numbers for girls, odd numbers for boys. Then I will pick the names I like out of your suggestions and that will be that.**

**Seem fair? I think so... So leave your name suggestions.**

**Until next time! -Sydney Grace**


	7. Gender reveal

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- OK, this is it! The big gender reveal! Names will be choose at a later date. I want to do the birth chapter soon, unless you have any other suggestions for me.**

* * *

Barney woke her up with kisses. On on her nose. On her lips. On her rounded stomach.

Robin's eyes fluttered open.

"Hey, beautiful." He says.

"Were you watching me sleep?" She accuses.

He looks down in shame. "I can't help it. You are so beautiful."

She laughs. "Yes...mushy is the new beautiful."

"On you, anything is beautiful." Barney bends over her stomach, careful not to lean on it. He kisses her lips. When they break apart he smiles at her, his breath on her skin. "Today is the day."

She moans. Her stomach is nearly too big to roll on her side, and she still has 5 more months until she is full term.

He helps her up, helps her into her clothes, ties her shoes, makes her breakfast. He doesn't mind helping her. She looks surprisingly sexy for a woman who is pregnant with twins. She eats the toast and eggs he makes for her.

He pulls her coat over her shoulders, but the trench won't button over her stomach. She sighs. "Barney, I can't do anything on my own anymore."

"Thats why you have me!" He chirps, locking the apartment door behind them.

He starts towards the stairs and she pulls him in for a kiss. A long kiss. He feels her tounge slip into his mouth. Intimate moments were rare among them these days, she was too tired. But they both felt the lack.

He stepped back. It wasnt that he didn't want this, but...it was the wrong time and place.

She let out a whimper, dissatisfied.

"Robin, darling, we are already running late. I promise I will satisfy your every need when we come back." He gave her a sexy smile, and they left the building.

* * *

As soon as they arrive at the clinic, Elizabeth is waiting for them. She takes them into the room, as has Robin lift her shirt. The jelly was thoughtfully warmed up for her.

The wand is pressed to her stomach, and an image appeared on the screen. In a few movements her two babies were in sight.

Robin laid her hands on the sides of her stomach. She was having TWINS, and it was just beginning to hit her.

"So?" Barney asked, taking one of Robin's hands in his.

"Congradulations," Elizabeth said proudly. "You are having..."

* * *

_Robin could still remember the look on his face when she told him she couldn't have kids. The shocked expression he wore, and how it softened instantly. _

_"Robin, I love you. I married you. I want only you." He whispered into her ear, and the end result was a passionate night. Barney always knew exactly what to say to get what he wanted._

_But he also knew what to say to Robin. How to make her feel better when all she wanted to do was break down. He was a good shoulder to cry on, that Barney. She loved him, loved him , loved him. She'd never ever tire of him. He was so perfect. Whenever she was around him she felt young again. Like the first time she had fallen in love, with the boy on her hockey team._

_Only this was different. Her dad could not break her and Barney apart. They were eternal._

_Barney and Robin. Robin and Barney._

_Oh how she liked the sound of that._

* * *

"Two sons." Elizabeth chimed, breaking Robin out of her daydream. "There are two little boys in your stomach."

Barney jumped up and down, and Robin, who didn't care about gender, kissed him.

They went home that night, and celebrated. First with their friends, who were thrilled, and then with each other.

The next months passed. Everything they did to prepare was in doubles. Double stroller, double cribs, double clothes, diapers, bottles. Robin got bigger every day. She couldn't lay down without being pulled back up.

At 30 weeks WWN told her to stay home and rest. She needed it. Each night Barney gently massaged her; back, shoulders, feet. Wherever she hurt.

Then he would help her lay down. She normally slept on her side, but being so big she had to sleep on her back. It annoyed her greatly, and Barney tried to help as much as possible. He was having a hard time, seeing her suffer and knowing there was nothing he could do.

He kissed her goodnight and good morning everyday. She was irritable. So uncomfortable and lonely during the days. Robin just wanted this to be over now.

But when Barney laid his hands over her swollen stomach, and gently tried to ease her worries with his carefully picked words, she felt just a little bit better.

But 37 weeks was fast approaching, full-term for twin pregnancy. Closer and closer and closer...


	8. Labor and Delivery

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- I rolled a 5 and a 1, for those wondering. And if you see a name that you suggested, thanks I love it. :-) And don't worry, there will be more after this.**

* * *

It had been 36 weeks. Barney and Robin were scrambling to finish everything they needed to do. The nursery was painted, a fresh, crisp shade of blue. Cribs were assembled. Curtains, mobiles, and pictures were hung. Diapers bought, clothes clean and folded.

They were content. Peaceful. Waiting.

Nothing else in the world seemed to matter anymore. Just their two little boys who meant everything to them. They were fraternal twins, rather than identical. They would look different. And since baby A was facing head-down, they would be having a vaginal birth, rather than a C-section.

The ultrasound pictures were pinned up on the refrigerator. Barney smiled as he saw them, getting the eggs out to make breakfast. He made the eggs sunny-side up. Just the way she liked them. He put two pieces of bread in the toaster and pressed it down. As he waited for that to cook, he poured the orange juice, and arranged the table. Everything was set.

He slipped in the bedroom, shaking her awake gently.

"Good morning, Robin." He said when she opened her eyes.

A smile beamed across her face as he pulled her up and out of bed. The smile stayed all through breakfast. He did the dishes, and she cleaned the counters. Smiling.

"What?" He finally questioned. "What could you possibly be smiling about?"

She shruggs. "I just love you."

That makes him smile, too. He leaves for work, and she is left alone. Clean kitchen, empty apartment kind of alone. She calls Lily, but she doesn't awnser. She calls Ted, but Tracey awnsers and Robin really doesn't want to talk to Tracey. She knows Marshall will be at work, too, so she doesn't call him at all.

As a desperate last resort for some company, Robin calls Patrice.

"HEY ROBIN!" Patrice chirps, after awnsering on the very first ring. "WE HAVE MISSED YOU EVER SO MUCH HERE AT WORK. WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK, ANYWAY? HOW ARE YOU?"

Robin pulls the phone away from her ear as Patrice speaks, not wanting to go deaf. Calling Patrice was a bad idea. She hangs up.

The door of the apartment is calling to her. She gets dressed (it takes awhile) and heads out the door, ducking onto the streets of Manhattan.

The sun shines. People move across the sidewalks. They walk dogs, talk on cellphones. Every single person has a destination, a place to go where they know they will be accepted. Somewhere.

Robin doesn't know where she is going. People move around her, like a rock in a stream. Her condition makes her something to avoid.

Because she doesn't know where to go, she goes into the bagel shop. Gets a cinnamon swirl bagel, and carries her prize back to the apartment.

She unlocks the door. There is a funny feeling in her gut. The feeling she gets when something is wrong.

She sets the bagel on a plate. There is a painful clenching in her stomach. She ignores it.

It doesn't even occur to her at first. The thought that maybe...just maybe...things happen early. She still has another week. Right?

So she ignores it and ignores it. She turns on the TV. There is nothing on.

Then it gets worse. Waaay worse. The clenching in her stomach becomes a cobra wrapped around her gut, tight.

She reaches for the phone to call him.

"Go for Barney." He awnsers.

"Its time." She barely whispers.

The line goes flat. He is gone, coming home to get her as fast as is humanly possible.

He doesn't bother with a cab. He just runs, pushing past people, jumping over things. It feels like eternity, but it actually only takes him 8 minutes. His suit is soaked with sweat, but for the first time in his life he realizes there is more important things than his suits.

When he swings open the apartment door, Robin is on the floor, curled. He lifts her in his arms, carrying her down the stairs and back out onto the streets. He steals a cab from a young couple standing on the curb.

"Destiny Clinic" He says to the driver, who nods and takes off.

Robin leans against his shoulder, breathing heavy. She both hands on her stomach.

"I hate to see you in pain." He says, because he simply doesn't know what else to say.

She nods, and kisses him. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Robin." He replies.

The driver pulls up to the clinic, where Barney had already texted Dr. Elizabeth. She waits with a wheelchair in the lobby.

They move fast, towards the labor and delivery department. A team of 6 nurses help Robin onto the bed, while Elizabeth hands Barney a pair of scrubs.

"Blue hospital suit up!" He yells, making Robin giggle.

"She's dialated to 4 cm." Dr. Elizabeth announces.

Up on the bed, Robin's smile fads, and she gives an exasperated moan. "6 more to go."

Barney is stroking her brown hair, which has been carefully pulled back into a ponytail by one of the nurses.

Robin screams as another contraction ripples through her. She squeezes Barney's hand, fighting pain.

A nurse gaves her a drink of water. "I know it hurts, sweetie, but it will be worth it." Robin smiles, with renewed hope.

Barney, however, can hear Dr. Elizabeth speaking to 3 of the other nurses across the room.

"She's at high risk of something going wrong. The twins...We might not get twins. Or Robin. So everyone needs to be at attention. I don't want to lose anyone tonight."

Barney shutters. He fires off a text to the gang.

**At the clinic. Robin in labor.**

He types fast, and hits send, just as another contraction begins.

Nearly an hour later, Dr. Elizabeth checks her dialation.

"Robin, honey, you are at 8 cm. Hang in there, honey."

"Everyone is outside this room, waiting." Barney whispers in her ear.

His hand in hers. They make it through. But the last 2 cm take 2 hours to get through, and the contractions get closer together.

"Alright, next contraction I need you to push, OK?"

By now Robin is outright sobbing. "Barney, I can't do this!" She cries.

"Robin, you are so strong. You can do this, I know you can."

"I don't feel strong." She whimpers.

He kisses her swollen stomach. She puts her hands over it. She is huge, her belly stretched out to carry their little boys.

"Barney, what if I am a bad mom? What if they don't like me?"

He leans close to her, their noses touching. He absolutely cannot believe he is going to be a father to twin boys. He never thought he would be a father ever. But when she came to him, teary-eyed and claiming she wanted a baby, he didn't even doubt that he wanted one, too.

"Robin, they will love you. I love you."

"I love you, too." She says. They smile at each other.

The next contraction starts. "Push!" Elizabeth screams.

She does. She screams out -it hurts so bad- and gribs Barney for support.

Then she falls back against the pillow. "Good try." Elizabeth encourages. "Let's do another one."

Another contraction goes by, no babies yet.

Robin is miserable. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying. Her face flushed with exhaustion. Barney wipes beads of sweat off her face.

"Hey, Dad!" Elizabeth yells. "Would you like to be down here when the baby comes? You can take him and hand him to the baby A nurse team."

"OK." Barney agrees, and after a kiss to her forehead, moves down towards Robin's legs.

"Next contraction!" Elizabeth yells, as Robin starts moaning.

"I see his head!" Barney screams. He looks ridulous in the scrubs.

"Aggghhhhhhh!" Robin clenches her teeth, and pushes. It hurts. A lot. But she hears a cry, a strong cry, and she has renewed hope.

"He's got dark hair, Robin. And blue eyes." Barney yells, but she barely hears him. She is already gritting her teeth, ready for the next baby to come out.

He is 3 minutes younger than his brother, but a baby boy arrives in her life, the same blue eyes but light hair that makes Barney laugh.

Her work is done. She is handed to little bundles, her children. Just sitting here, holding them, she is proud. She knows they are going to grow up and be each other's best friend. The 4 weeks of painful shots, and 36 weeks of waiting was worth it now that she saw them.

Barney wraps an arm around her shoulder, and she catches him wiping away tears.

"They're... sticky." Robin says. Barney just laughs.

Lily comes flying in the room, followed by Ted, Marshall, and Tracey.

Lily explodes with a thousand words, and everyone gushes over the two babies.

A man walks into the room, and Robin stares, wondering why he is there.

He looks at the baby in her arms, and the baby in Barney's arms.

"Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr." He says, even though she is technically a Stinson now.

"I'm proud of you, eh."

Robin burst into tears, again. Everyone gets turns holding the babies. The oldest one is Brody, and his brother is Alex.

Barney nuzzles Robins shoulder, and everything is perfect.


	9. Wine and a break

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM.**

**A/N- Sorry it took so long to update. I've been working like crazy, and preparing for a big vacation coming up. This chapter is pretty short, but the next one will be long (I'm skipping ahead 3 years) but this is 3 weeks after they are born. I hope everyone is having a good summer, and enjoy.**

* * *

Life changed a lot, really fast.

Mornings were different. Days were different. Nights were much, much different. Everything was different.

Robin and Barney sat cross-legged on the bed, the boys laying in front of them. Alex lay in front of Barney, Brody in front of Robin.

"We both have a match." Robin giggled, stroking Brody's brunette head.

Barney gazed down at Alex.

"I didn't know I could love anyone more than I love you, but..." Barney's voice trailed off. He had kids, and the experience was taking his breath away.

Robin leaned across the bed and kissed his cheek. She knew exactly what he meant.

Since the babies, their entire life was replaced with something else. Sex was replaced with being woken up in the middle of the night. Breakfast was replaced with feeding the boys (Robin was sooooo tired of breast feeding. Between the two of them it was a never ending cycle.) And the quiet lives they once shared was replaced with naps, diaper changes, peekaboo, and pacifires.

They were both miserable and happy at the same time.

After 3 weeks, they were going insane. They needed a night out.

That's where their friends were a big help.

"We will take them! Ted and I can totally handle it!" Tracy volunteered.

Ted only nodded.

"It will be good practice for our own kids." Tracy urged, rubbing his knee softly under the table.

"Okay." Ted agreed.

So the next night they dropped off the twins and headed out to a nice Italian restaurant.

They ordered a nice glass of wine with their meals, and drank through half of it before their food came.

"Parenting is more work than I thought." Robin whispered.

"Yes." Barney said. "It is."

"But I love them. I just can't believe how exhausted I am."

Barney gazed into her eyes...he desperately wanted to bang her, it had been so long, but he was too exhausted to even ask. "In 3 weeks you can go back to work. Get away for a bit."

She groaned. "Don't remind me. I still have to lose 12 more pounds to even want to be seen on TV."

"Still." Barney shrugged. "At least you have a little time to yourself, with grown-ups."

She nodded, and sipped her wine. He twirled his fork in his pasta. The silence wasn't awkward, they were just simply resting from the conversation.

They finished dinner, making other conversation, and walked out into the streets. He hailed a cab, and they spent the ride all cuddled up against each other, her head on his shoulder. It was really nice to get out, but they were also eager to get back because they missed their boys.

Two sleeping angels were returned to their parents.

If only Barney and Robin knew the future. If only they could brace themselves for the bumpy road ahead. If they could, they might savour these days, the good old days. If only...


	10. Heartbreaking News

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- This chapter was hard to write. I'll explain why it had to happened next chapter.**

* * *

Robin hummed a tune to herself, as she moved down the hallway to the boy's room. She was 7 months pregnant with (just one) little girl, and couldn't be more excited.

She pushed the door open, where the boys were on the floor playing with their new car set (a gift from Daddy).

"Hey..." She whispered. "Time to put our jammies on and go to bed."

Brody rubbed his eyes, and Alex yawned. But both claimed they weren't tired.

Barney appeared in the doorway, and the boys perked up. He was fresh out of the shower, and Robin could smell his bodywash from here. He smelled like heaven.

Barney opened the bureau and pulled out their favorite pajamas. Alex had his footie fire trunk ones, and Brody his spider man shirt and pants.

Robin began to pull Brody's shirt over his head, and Barney did the same with Alex.

"Ugh...babe?" Barney said. Robin looked over to see him frozen, staring.

"Y-yeah?"

Barney turned Alex's back toward Robin, so she could see the trail of blue and purple bruises down his spine.

"Oh my gosh!" She jumped up.

"How did this happen?" Barney asked. "Did he fall off a chair?"

"Not here. Maybe at daycare...but Melinda always tells me if one of the boys gets hurt, even if its just a paper cut. She would've told me this."

"Owwwie." Alex said. His lower lip was tucked out, it clearly hurt.

"This is a lot of bruising." Robin commented. "Let's finish getting their pajamas on and take him in."

So the scared parents took a cab to the medical center. They had already phoned his pediatrician, who, after hearing the story, agreed to come in.

The white paper crinkled under him as they lay him on the table, footie pajamas zipped down in the back so the doctor could get a clear view of his back. Brody was asleep in a chair as Dr. Loper examined his bruises. Robin and Barney found themselves holding hands, scared.

"Were going to need to run some blood tests." She confirmed.

Robin winced. They were going to draw blood from her baby boy.

The doctor got out the needle and Alex instantly started screaming. Barney and Robin had to hold him down, and they hated every second of it. By the time it was done, Robin was about ready to pass out from seeing him suffer, and Barney had left the room to hunt down a chocolate ice cream cone.

Brody, surprisingly, slept through the whole thing.

But Barney found the ice cream cone, and the doctor came back in an hour with news. It was nothing common, so they should go home for the night. More results would be in by 9 am.

So, at 10 pm the family of 4 (and counting) slipped back into their apartment. Robin and Barney tucked the boys into their toddler beds, and then tucked themselves into their own.

"Barney." Robin whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What if its something wrong with us? What if Brody gets it, and then our baby girl gets it, too?"

"Probably not, Robin. Besides, it could be nothing at all."

"Okay." Robin whispered, and she cuddled up against him. But her maternal instincts told her otherwise. It was something.

They were up and dressed by 8 the next morning. Brody was dropped off a Marshall and Lily's. He was so excited to play with his 3 cousins. Alex was burning up with a fever, he had slept restlessly, and was obviously in serious pain.

Then they went to heard the dreaded news.

Dr. Loper was waiting for them in the lobby, the first sign that something was up.

She took them to a quiet room. No examining table, just chairs and coloring books and a coffee pot and water.

A comfortable place to recieve bad news.

"Are there any other symptoms you have noticed in the past few weeks, besides the obvious fever right now?"

"He has a weird lump under his armpit." Robin spoke up. "I was worried but he said it didn't hurt, so I let it go." She lifts his arm to reveal a small but definite lump.

"I guess he's been kinda weak lately. He usually loves the park but last week he just sat on the bench with me." Barney added, as Alex stirred in his arms.

"He's lost a few pounds lately." Robin noted. "What does this all mean?"

"Well, we are running back up tests to be sure, but the other symptoms match." Dr. Loper began.

"So...want does he have?" Robin voiced, barely above a whisper. One hand was over her bulging belly, the other clutched in Barney's. Her face was pale white in fear.

Their was a pause. "Acute lymphocytic leukemia" Dr. Loper managed to say. "I'm so sorry, but your son Alex has cancer."


	11. Black hearts

**Disclaimer- I don't own how I met your mother.**

**A/N- I know some of you are asking "Why?" and I totally get it. But I am letting Alex be a voice to the struggles of childhood cancer. He is a brave little boy, and that will be shown throughout the coming chapters. This one is about how Barney and Robin take the news...and how they break it to the group.**

* * *

Barney and Robin left the medical center with a bouquet of panplets and brocheres about treatment plans and options. There were so many options.

Alex was asleep in Barney's arms when they reached the car. His dad carefully strapped him into his car seat, their new van gleaming. They had bought it to accommodate the growing family, a happy occasion, but right now no one felt happy.

Robin folded and unfolded the prescription for nausea and vomiting medication, for Alex to take as needed. She was in shock, disbelief, and fear all rolled up into one ball of emotion.

"It all our fault." Robin whispered. "We caused this, some how."

"No, we didnt." Barney replied firmly, as he backed out of the parking garage. "It was a random occurance. It was no way our fault."

"We shouldve kept him safer!" Robin yelled, slamming her fist into the dashboard, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Barney pulled the van onto the shoulder, and turned to look at her.

"It wasn't our fault, Robin. It wasn't anyone's fault. It was a freak accident, and I know its tough, but we can handle it. "

Robin looked up, her face still streaked with tears. Somehow, she managed to smile."I love you."

Barney leaned in to kiss his wife. "I love you, too."

They drove quietly, and made it to Marshall and Lily's.

Alex was sleeping in the back seat, so Barney offered to stay with him while Robin went in.

She turned to him. "Should I tell them?"

Barney pondered this for a moment, before realizing that she might need him there. "I'll come in." He said, lifting Alex, and held his so his little blonde head rested on his fathers shoulder.

Brody was playing on the floor, next to Marvin, Michael, and Melinda. He loved his cousins. They had a game of Scrabble Jr. going.

Marshall and Lily had been watching, but looked up when the couple entered.

"Hey. How is everything?" Lily asked.

"Uh..." Robin whispered. She thought she could do this, but not she was glad Barney was with her.

"It might take a while to explain..." Barney said. "Maybe would someone call Ted and Tracey and see if they can come over?"

Marshall reached for the phone and began dialing, as Lily showed Barney into the boys' bedroom, where Alex could nap.

10 minutes later, all the adults were gathered in the living room, and the game of scrabble has been moved to Melinda's room.

"Well...Alex has been diagnosed with Leukemia." Robin said, not wanting to break down in from of them.

"Oh my god." Lily breathed.

Marshall was quiet. Ted bowed his head. Tracey teared up a little. Barney put a protective arm around Robin's shoulders.

"We are hoping you guys will help us out with things, if you can." Barney said. Everyone was surprised, Barney didn't usually ask for help, but they all nodded.

"Is it money you need?" Tracey asked. "Or something else?"

"No..no. We've got good insurance and a generous savings account." Barney replied.

"But we will need people to watch Brody while Alex is getting treatment, and with the baby on the way..."

"We will all help." Marshall promised.

"Oh god." Robin whispered, burying her head in her hands. It was just beginning to dawn on her, how much things were going to change.

Marshall got up and hugged Robin, and Lily enveloped Barney. Ted then hugged Robin as well, and soon everyone was in each others arms, crying.

"It'll be okay." Ted whispered into Robin's ear. "I'll always be here for you."

Robin pulled back, and cried into Barney's shoulder. There, in front of everyone. She sobbed, his hand rubbing circles on her back. Eventually, Ted and Tracey went home. Barney and Robin slept on the couch, kids in the room, and Marshall and Lily went to sleep. They were too grief stricken to drive.

But knowing that everyone, Marshall and Lily especially, was a comfort to Barney and Robin.

They cuddled together on the couch mattress, unspoken words between them. Words they didn't need to speak aloud because they both already knew.

Things would be hard, but they were strong.

They would not let this break them. They would do everything for Alex.

Robin did have a confession for him though.

"Barney." She whispered, her words seeming loud in the quiet, dark living room. He rolled over.

"Yes?"

"I am probably horrible for saying this...but..." She paused.

"Go on, Robin. I won't judge you."

"I wish we never got pregnant, now. I mean...when we went through fertility treatments again...we were so overjoyed, but now this is making things so complicated."

"I know. But were are 7 months in. And we are going to love this baby girl, heart and soul. Maybe she will brighten the mood."

Robin nodded, appreciating his optimistic approach.

"I really really love you." Her words were small, but the impact was huge.

He kissed her and he didn't even need to speak, his blue eyes told it all.


	12. Despite all that

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- sorry its been so long since the last update. This chapter is gonna be sad. Things get worse before they get better.**

* * *

Its been 2 months since that awful day when they found out. Now, Barney sat in a hard plastic chair next to Alex, as the doctor changed the IV bag. Alex's condition was critical. They were told it would be a miracle for him to make it past the age of 5.

It broke Barney's heart to see the bald-headed 3 year old sometimes. Every glance reminded him of the pain. Hospitals and chemotherapy and vomiting on the daily was all the toddler knew. It was his whole world. And yet, he had good spirits. He loved Thomas the choo-choo train, and his spider man coloring books. He liked to do puzzles, and when his mom read his books before bed. He hated broccoli but loved cauliflower.

But there were so many things he would never do. He would never ride a bike, or play sports, or go to middle school, get a girlfriend, have his first kiss. He would never graduate high school, go off to college. He would never have his own family. He is three years old. Still innocent, still young. Why did it have to be him?

Truthfully, Barney wished he could take the cancer away from his son and put it into himself. Barney would die for his child if necessary. He has come a long way.

His thoughts were interrupted by the nurse coming back in. "Mr. Stinson?" She said. "Your wife was admitted about a half-hour ago. She's in labor."

Barney stood, and looked between his son, who was sleeping fitfully, and the nurse.

"I'll stay by his side." The nurse volunteered.

"Thank you." The blonde man breathed a sigh of relief. He pressed a quick kiss to Alex's forehead and ran out of the room.

He reached the labor and delivery area, and was pointed in to where Robin was. She was in the bed, hospital gown on and hair tied back.

"There you are." She smiled against his lips as he kissed her. Then she cringed in pain.

"This is going to be a quick one." Robin commented. "Labor started an hour ago, and I'm dialated to 9 cm already."

"Actually." Dr. Ilene intrupted, peeking under the blanket which covered her knees. "Were at 10 now. You can push soon."

The nurses swished around the room, with carts and tools and things. No one suspected that anything would go wrong. They just moved around the room, oblivious.

Barney gripped Robin's hand. "Think of the prize." He told her. "Soon we are going to have a beautiful daughter. Things are going to be great."

Robin smiled, that beautiful perfect smile of hers, and kissed him.

"Alright. Next contraction, Robin, I want full pushes. Hard ones." Dr. Ilene coached.

The contraction came, a searing ripping pain through Robin's core. She closed her eyes, gripped her husbands hand, and pushed. Her head fell back onto the pillow, sweaty and exhausted after one push.

Barney leaned down to whisper something in her ear.

"Thank you for enduring all this pain so we can have a family. I love you."

"Awww...Barney, I love you toooooooooooooooooooooooo." The next contraction came and went.

Dr. Ilene grinned. "I can see a head of dark hair. But I need you to push hard. Can you do that for me?"

Robin nodded, clenching her teeth as a human life was born.

Her cries were strong, healthy. Robin caught a glance of her before they took her away to clean her. She did have dark hair like her momma, and she was just beautiful, just like Barney said.

It was taking longer to give her back than expected. Robin strained to hear the words they were saying. Two nurses hovered over her baby, shining a light.

"Her pupils aren't reacting." One whispered.

"What does that mean?" Robin yelled, tears of worry forming in her eyes.

Dr. Ilene lifted the baby. She had a red hat, knitted, and was swaddled in a soft blanket. But both parents could see the dark in her eyes.

"She's blind." The doctor said softly, setting her into Robin's arms.

"Her name is Lydia." The mother whispered. "And she is beautiful, and she is loved. No matter what." Hot tears rolled down Robin's cheeks, as Marshall and Lily entered the room with Brody.

The twin hugged his parents, and marveled over his new sister, before Robin wiped tears off her cheeks. "I want to see Alex. I want his to meet his sister, too."

They wheeled Robin to the cancer ward, baby in her arms, and she kissed Alex's forehead and he was just awake enough to reach out his little arms and wrap them around his baby sister.

Barney held Brody, who fell asleep on his shoulder. It was like the universe kept screaming at him and Robin. Maybe her infertility was a sign, and they should have backed off and never had kids.

But Brody snuggled into his Dad's neck and gave a little sigh,a and Barney took it all back. Despite how screwed up things were, he and Robin would be okay.


	13. A day in the life of Robin

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- You guys are so awesome! Thanks for all the sweet reviews. And, no, I don't hate Barney and Robin. I just know that they are strong, and their love can make it through anything.**

* * *

Robin stood in the kitchen, packing a lunch for Brody. She slathered the bread in mayo, then layered on the ham, lettuce, cheese, and tomato. She threw in a prepackaged brownie, a ziplock full of goldfish, and an apple. Then she zipped the blue lunchbox closed, and put it in the fridge for him to take to preschool tomorrow. He went to all-day school, making the day easier on Barney and Robin.

She turned to see Barney coming through the door, after a long day at work. She kissed him, and was about to pull away, when he pulled her into his arms, and slow danced with her around the living room.

For a moment, she wasn't a mother. There was nothing to stress about. It was only her, and Barney. The slow dancing reminded her of their wedding.

"What is this all about?" Robin giggled.

Barney ran his fingers through her hair. "Because I love you, Robin Stinson. And whatever happens, we can get through this."

As if on cue, Lydia began to cry. Barney moved to get her, but Robin held him back. "You go shower, I can get here. She probably wants to be fed, anyway."

Barney kissed her. "Breast feeding makes you so much hotter."

Robin rolled her eyes and moved toward their bedroom, lifting the little girl out of her crib. She was perfect. Her skin was the tone of a light peach, and her lips were a pretty shade of red. This all e  
went perfect with her dark hair.

Robin cradled the baby in her arms, whispering things to her, descriptions of the world around her, things she would never see.

"I love you, Lydia." Robin whispered. She thought for a moment, before adding "to the moon and back, sweetheart."

After she was done feeding, Robin lay the sweet baby in her crib and shut the lights off, laying in her own bed. Soon, Barney came to bed as well, his body fitting perfectly with hers as he spooned her to sleep. Lydia was a miracle baby, sleeping through most of the night, rarely interrupting them. So, the night was peaceful. The only time their lives ever slowed down.

The next morning was a rush. Robin was on maternity leave, but that didn't make her life any less hectic. The alarm buzzed at 6 in the morning, and after that it is go-go-go until 8 at night.

Barney hits the alarm off, and kisses Robin until she wakes as well. He makes breakfast while she showers, and then they get the kids up. Robin changes Lydia's diaper and dresses her, while Barney gently shakes Brody awake and helps him pick his clothes. Today its a pair of jeans, a dinosaur T-shirt, and his spider man socks.

Barney serves up breakfast, and they eat. Before leaving the apartment, Barney pulls out a gift bag and hands it to Brody.

He opens it to find the water bottle he's been asking for, the one with Mickey Mouse on it. Brody hugs his dad.

Barney and Robin try to give Brody lots of attention, but with a brother with Cancer and a newborn sister who's blind, its not always easy for the child to feel like he's loved enough. They try though, they'll never forget Brody, and at the end of the day, in some way he understands.

So after his water bottle is filled, they head out the door. Barney lugs Lydia's car seat down the stairs, and Robin holds Brody's hand so he doesn't fall.

Barney helps her load up the minivan, but has to leave in his own car for work. She drops off Brody at preschool, then heads to the hospital to see Alex.

Lydia is going home with Lily later, but for now Robin carry's her in to go visit her brother.

Alex is laying down in bed, his bald little head against the pillow. He is wearing his blue footie pajamas, and clutching his beloved little monkey toy.

Robin kisses his forehead, and hugs Lily.

"Thanks for watching him."

"Its no problem, anyway we can help, you just let myself or Marshall know, Hun."

Robin rolled her eyes at being called "Hun." and bought Lily a coffee before sending her home to rest. She had been here all night.

Robin plunkered down in the hard vinyl chair and closed her eyes for a minute.

She could hear a nurse creep in to change the IV bag, and opened her eyes.

"Good morning, Sylvie." Robin greeted her. She was the nurse who took care of Alex most often.

Sylvie smiled. "Good morning, Robin. You look simply exhausted."

A sigh escaped the brunnetes lips. "Yes, I am."

"Hon, you need a break."

"No. I can't just drop everything because I need it. The boys... and Lydia...they need me."

"I have this gift card for the spa...why don't you and a friend go and relax? I'm never going to use it. And I'll watch Alex here, Barney can handle the two at home. What do you have to lose?"

Robin remembered the wonderous massaages she and Lily used to get on girls' weekends. They were ohhh so nice.

"Are you sure? I don't want to take this from you." Robin insisted, politely.

Sylvie put the card into Robin's hand and closed her fingers around it. "You need it." The nurse insisted.

So Robin took it, and reached for her phone to call Lily.


	14. Relaxation and Dad's

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Hello lovely readers! Sorry its been so long, summer can be busy, you know? But I'll try and keep writing. Any ideas or suggestions for this story would be greatly appreciated, I'm having a bit of writers block.**

* * *

The masseuse's hands were like silk, as she ran them over Robin's back. From beside her, Lily moaned in approval.

"This...is the life." Robin said.

"Every mother deserves this." Lily agreed.

Their spa weekend was turning out to be a hit. What's not to love about gourmet food, great massages, and quiet, uninterrupted sleep.

The masseuse stopped massaging, their hour was up, and walked away for a moment to get a towel (which was fluffy, warm, and smelled like a fresh summer breeze). Robin tapped her freshly-painted fingernails against the side of the bed.

"I'm sorry about your kids, Robin." Lily whispered quietly.

"Why?"

Lily looked stunned. "Every mother hopes for a healthy child, it must be so disappointing..."

"I LOVE my kids, Lily." Robin snapped.

"I didn't say..."

"I'm not disappointed. They are perfect to me. I wouldn't ask for any other children, they are my world."

Robin snatched the towel from the assistants hand, and wrapped it around herself, storming back to her room. She slid the card in, and swung open the door. Then she grabbed some fresh clothes from the drawer, and made her way into the bathroom.

She sat on the lid of the toilet, and turned on the shower so Lily couldn't hear her cry.

* * *

Lily got dressed, and grabbed Robin's clothes, taking a detour back to the room she shared with her friend.

She felt horrible. Just implying that to Robin...she was horrible.

She unlocked the door and pushed open the door. She could hear the shower running, but Robin didn't hide as well as she thinks she did.

Lily knocked lightly. "Robin? Open the door, honey."

"I'm in the shower!" The brunnete yelled back.

"I know that's a lie." Lily replied replied gently.

With a click and turn, the door opened, with steam from the shower. Robin's eyes were red, the tears still falling.

Lily's arms enveloped around her friends body.

"I'm a horrible mother." Robin sobbed.

"No...shhhh...your not. You do better than I do, sweetie...don't cry."

Robin and Lily stepped out of the bathroom, and back into the main room. The layout was simple. Two beds, a TV, a desk. Looked like most rooms.

They sat side-by-side on Lily's bed. "I'm sorry, Robin."

Robin wiped away her tears. "Its okay. There's just so much stress. Every single day...there's so much, and...and..."

Lily handed Robin a tissue.

"I know its hard." She said, and Robin wiped away the last of her tears.

"Okay. Can we go get dinner?" Robin asked.

"Sure, but...don't you want to talk about this more?"

"What is their to say, Lily?"

Lily shrugged, and they walked down to dinner.

* * *

Meanwhile, Marshall, Barney and Ted were all hanging at Marshall's house, watching the football game and eating nachos.

All the kids were here, except Alex, who was being watched by Sylvie at the hospital.

Barney had Lydia in a baby vest on his chest, and the rest of the kids were all crawling around on the floor, playing some kind of game where they were puppies and kitties, and occasionally required to be petted by their dads. This game made it easier on the men: instead of constantly getting up to refill drink cups, they just set out buckets of water for the kids a to drink like animals.

Their wives would be horrified, but the kids absolutely loved it.

* * *

When the weekend was over Robin and Lily were very relaxed, with a closer friendship they had ever had. Barney and Marshall had gone through 27 pizzas, and a ton of nachos.

And everything would be okay.


	15. It's a party!

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- This chapter is a bit stressful at the beginning, but it has a happy ending. :)**

* * *

"Mommy." Brody said, rather seriously over breakfast one morning. "My birthday is coming up. Alex and I are going to be turning 6. Can I please have a birthday party?"

Robin and Barney looked at each other, smiling. They didn't usually have big friend parties, just the gang over. But, inviting a few of Brody's classmates over would be good for Alex, too.

Since Alex was in the hospital most of the time, his education was limited to a state-provided tutor, who taught his well, but he didn't have much opportunity to interact with friends his age.

So Robin nodded hesitantly, while gently tapping Lydia's cheek to let her know to open her mouth for another bite of squash.

Brody got up and jumped up and down, excited. "I'm gonna invite Dean, and Emma...and Taylor, and George...

His list went on and on, and Barney just laughed. "Finish your waffles, little man, or you are going to be late for school."

Soon, Barney was off with Brody, and Robin sat down at her desk, thinking. There was no way they could throw a party in the apartment without the building owner having a fit, so she would have to rent a party space, probably at one of those places with the bouncy houses and ball pits.

She would also need a cake, and both kid food, adult food, decorations, balloons, invitations.

She was not just going to throw a party together. The other kindergarten moms would gossip about her for weeks, and never offer to carpool Brody with their children, like they do on those days when Robin is clearly going insane.

Robin heaved a sigh, and went to her bedroom to get dressed. She needed to go to the store.

* * *

She arrived at the store, just your basic superstore, and settled Lydia in the seat on the cart. Then she began to trek thought the aisles, picking up things she needed. She stood in aisle 3, debating what kind of candies she wanted to get, when a friendly woman came by, stopping to look at Lydia.

"Ohh!" The woman said. "Isn't she just a doll!"

"Thank you." Robin replied, still debating between the two different bags.

But the lady wasn't done. She wiggled her fingers at Lydia, hoping to make the baby smile.

But obviously, Lydia couldn't see this, and didn't react at all.

"What's wrong with her? Is she stupid?" The woman asked, turning away from the baby to look at Robin. "How can you love a child like that?"

Robin opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She didn't even know what to say. So instead she threw both bags of candy into her cart, and walked away, all the way to the restrooms in the back. She took Lydia out of her seat, stroking her hair softly.

"She doesn't know what she's saying, baby. I love you, okay? I love you so much."

And at that moment, her baby said her first word. "Momma."

It's amazing how one simple word is all you need to finish shopping, order a cake, and book a party place. It's funny how one word can change your entire outlook.

But Lydia made that happen.

Being blind didn't make her entire personality. It was only one trait that made her a little more lovable.

* * *

Barney had stopped by the hospital after work to see Alex, and tell him about the party. His health seemed to be improving, and he would be just fine in time to celebrate his sixth birthday.

"Daddy." Alex said, adjusting himself on the bed with one arm. The other arm had an IV running through it.

"Yeah, little man?"

"Can I have friends at the party, too?"

"Sure. Who do you want to come?"

"Well, Sylvie is my friend. We play monopoly together. And Dr. Taljk, he's nice. And maybe Nurse Johanna?"

Barney wished he could give his son good health more than anything. Because if he could go to regular kindergarten with his brother, his only friends wouldn't be just his doctors and nurses.

But instead of breaking down and crying, Barney smiled. "I'll ask them."

* * *

A week later, 16 kids were at the party, bouncing in the inflatable houses, sliding down big, cushy slides, and playing in the ball pit.

The parents seemed impressed. Thank goodness, because Robin really needed them to help with the carpooling.

Barney was sitting with Lydia, reading one if those touch-and-feel books to her. He brought her hand over the page, so she could "pet the dog." or "Feel the tree,"

The new textures were cool to her.

Alex had been worried people would make fun of him because he had no hair, so Barney bought him a new elephant hat, and the problem was gone.

Everything was going so smoothly.

Then a little boy, Sara Jenkins kid, began to scream at Alex. "I wanted that Tooooooyyyy!" His feet stomped on the floor and he began to wail. Sara rushed to his side, "oh, baby, you should get the toy.

Robin stepped towards Alex, who never threw fits, and whispered in his ear. "What did he do?"

"I was just playing with it, and he saw me with it." Alex said, and Brody, the ever- protective big brother told the same story.

Robin handed Alex back the toy, which was a smiling truck, laying on its side between the two mothers. Sara practically snarled at Robin.

"Just because a child has cancer, doesn't mean they are perfect. You can't spoil your child like that."

Robin stepped back, defeated. And Lily stepped forward. "Just because you have one child, doesn't make you a parenting expect. You are blessed to be able to have a healthy boy, and Robin and Barney aren't that lucky. You don't know how hard it is, so why don't you just back off!" Lily turned on her heel and moved away.

Sara picked up the boy, Tyler, and stormed out of the place.

Robin felt someone tugging on her fingers, and looked down to see Brody standing there. "Its okay, Mommy. Tyler is mean, anyway."

He gave her a quick hug, and ran off to play with his other friends.

The completely exhausted mother headed back to the tables, expecting all the other mothers to be talking badly about her. But instead, they smiled at Robin. "She's so horrible, isn't she? She's always making drama for the rest of us."

They all talked and laughed, and Robin was so relived. She could finally be normal.

Expect for one kid dropping his piece of cake, the rest of the party went smoothly and at end of the day, the 6 year old twins were exhausted and happy.

At least something could go right. But when everything's right, something always seems to go wrong.

The prospect of losing this newfound happiness scared Robin, so she curled up against Barney and slept with her head on his heart.

Because with him near, all the hard things seemed easier.


	16. Bliss

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Thanks for being so patient for this one. I got it figured out. All editing was done at 1:30 a.m, so sorry for any mistakes.**

**P.S- This one will make you cry. No worries, they will be happy tears.**

* * *

A few weeks after the birthday party, things began lightening up.

Summer came, and Brody was out of school. Robin was working again, so Tracey watched him and Lydia at her daycare during the days.

Alex's health was improving greatly, and Robin had an appointment with an expert to see just how much progress they were had to rush that morning, pulling a blue bow-backed dress over lace tights, knee-high boots, and a gold owl necklace. Then she pulled on her leather jacket. She skipped the makeup, and fed Lydia quick, and Barney took care of Brody before running out the door for work.

Lydia cooed happily as Robin set her in her car seat, and turned on the radio. She liked to have music or spoken books running so Lydia had some stimulation.

A familiar song came on, and Robin hummed the tune softly to herself as she drove, Brody clapping to the beat. At the daycare, she kissed the kids goodbye, and ran back to the car. Traffic was bad this time of morning, but she got through just in time.

Alex was awake when she made it to his room, coffee in hand. "Mommy!" He said happily, and she hugged her little boy doctor stepped into the room, closing the door. "Hey Alex, hey Robin." she greeted them.

Dr. Banno was one of the leading experts on childhood leukemia in the United States, the the absolute best in all of New York. Aside from her astounding reputation, she was also quite friendly.

"We have the results from Alex's blood work from last week."

Robin bit her lip for a moment. "Good or bad?"

To her relief, Dr. Banno smiled. "Good. Alex shows no signs of cancer at this moment, and can go home today. We will need to see him back every few weeks to make sure it doesn't come back, but as of right now Alex is cancer free."

Tears streamed down Robin's cheeks, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh...thank you." She was crying too hard to say any other words. Dr. Banno reached over and hugged the happy mother.

"Mommy." Alex said. "What's wrong?"

Robin looked up, smiling at her son. "Mommy is just so happy that you are healthy."

Alex pondered this for a moment. Then, in the most serious tone he replied with. "Mom. When I grow up I wanna be a fire fighter. Because they CAN'T get sick. Otherwise, how would they beat fire?"

Robin and Dr. Banno laughed, hugging the boy. Then the doctor gave Alex a little 'I beat cancer' T-shirt, which he put on right away, and discharged him from the sat in his car seat, staring at everything out the windows.

"Hey, baby." Robin said. "Should we go get ice cream?""Yeah!" Alex yelled from the backseat.

So Robin got chocolate, and like his Daddy, Alex got vanilla. They ate their cones, and then drove to Barney's office. Alex held his mother's hand in the elevator.

"Should we go surprise daddy?" Robin asked. Alex's little bald head nodded vigorously, and the doors opened. She led him to his Dad's office, where she could see Barney, his head bent over a paper. He was chewing the tip of his pen, pushed the door open, and Alex ran under her arm.

"Daddy!" Barney looked up, startled, but smiled when he saw his son.

"Hey, little man." Robin watched her husband read Alex's shirt, and Barney looked up at Robin and his wife nodded, tears gleaming in her eyes again, and Barney got up and kissed her.

"This is great." the blonde man whispered, and they both looked over to Alex, who had scribbled all over the paper Barney had been working on.

"Oh, Alex." Robin fussed, worried.

"Don't worry." Barney laughed. "I was about to do that myself, this contract is going nowhere." The Dad folded the scribbled sheet into a paper airplane and tossed it into the recycling bin, making Alex giggle.

Barney took Robin's hand. "Come on. I'll take the rest of the day off. Let's get the other kids early, and celebrate."

"Okay." She agreed, and they both took one of Alex's hands, swinging him as he laughed.

They were free. Oh, they were so free. And they would never worry about that again.


	17. The end

**Disclaimer- I don't own HIMYM**

**A/N- Summer is almost over. And I've had writers block with this story. So, these things combined lead me to have this be the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who has followed/favorited and especially to those who commented. Its been a pleasure to write for you all. And I'll see you in another story. And please feel free to check out my profile and read my other stories (comments would be great too!)**

**I love you all.**

**-Sydney Grace**

* * *

Years went by since then, and things were great. The kids were growing up so fast.

Lydia learned Braile, and she has plenty of friends. She has a guide dog named Hurricane. Her blindness never defined her. She was just Lydia, plain and simple. She was in 6th grade now, growing up wonderfully. She tutored students, directed a book club, and last year she lead the debate team to victory.

Her brothers did well, too. All the kids were good students, A's and B's for the most part. Alex had to do lots of catching up when he was younger, but that never was a problem now. He was healthy and smart. He ran on the cross country team and played baseball and Barney and Robin loved him unconditionally.

Brody, surprisingly, wasn't as athletic as his brother. While his brother was very social, Brody was quieter. He loved to write and play video games with his few close friends. His dream was to publish a novel.

Barney and Robin were proud of their children. They went to every baseball game, and cheered at ever cross country meet. Robin cried when Brody won a statewide writing competition. They encouraged Lydia to do whatever she wanted to do.

Life was a trial, they realized. Some things are temporary, but having a loving family lasts long after the sting of the outside world does.

One night, after saying goodnight to the kids, Robin crawled into bed next to Barney, wrapping her feet up in the top sheet. "I can't believe I used to say I didn't want kids."

Barney rolled over to look at her, grinning. "I didn't want them either. And look at us now."

"Brody, Alex, Lydia..." Robin whispered, letting each name sit on her tounge before saying the next. "How could we live without them?"

"Its crazy." He agreed. "To think what it would be like with just us."

"Quiet..." Robin replied softly, "But lonely."

The conversation paused, and they could hear laughter coming from the living room. It was a short week of school for the kids, so they didn't have to go the next day. However, Barney and Robin still had work the next day.

Curious as to what they were doing, Robin peeked out her bedroom into the living room, where her three kids were curled together on the couch, Lydia in the middle, sharing a blanket, watching a movie. Smiling. Being loving siblings.

A tear streamed down Robin's cheek as she shut the door again, and wrapped her arms around Barney's body. Her eyes shut as she drifted off to sleep. She thought back to all she had been through, in the past 15 years since she had Brody and Alex.

She had wanted kids more than anything. And she wouldn't change a thing about what she got. So with her head on Barney's chest, moving yup and down with his breathing, she drifted off into a dream. After years of being at war with herself about what she truly wanted, Robin Stinson was finally at peace.

**THE END**


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